Home Sweet Home
by Madison Yager
I was built in 1981. They call me “charming” so that’s what my name is. Their names are Phoebe, Bobbie, and Clementine. I take care of them. But before them it was Lola and Phill. They the ones who took care of me. They wanted me when nobody else did. My no-good structure was not a suitable home for nobody, but they saw something good in me. Before they came, I was just an abandoned house on a hill in Eastham, Massachusetts. I’m close to the sea as I stay on the shore, the only thing separating us is the hill I am on. I’m not complaining about being on a hill though, if I was any closer, I would have to stare at my reflection every day; although, I am all patched up now, if I saw myself before my confidence would have crumbled like my construction. Things have changed a lot over time, I get to watch people dock their boats, drop their ice cream cones, and rejoice in their tan lines. Often, I would be watched by people as they questioned my placement in such a beautiful town. For a while the only visitors I’d have were scary looking delinquents with cans of spray paint and joints. I hate the smell of skunks. Thankfully the breeze from the water below me would clear me out.
Lola and Phill called me a fixer upper. They were older but had their kids come to help make me worth something again. Lola was known for her beautiful curls; they were once blonde ringlets- her nickname was Goldie to Phill. Lola spent a lot of time fixing me up, but it helped that she had a degree in interior design, not a surprise due to her being a fashionista at heart. She loves clothes, but her closet was always snug. Phill was tan and tall, a handsome man, even during the cloudy months in Massachusetts. It doesn’t surprise me these two met, it wasn’t by chance. I learned that they met in college, Phill was a journalist. Their kids were just as sweet as them. They had two girls, Jade and Melody. Both had busy lives but made time to help me. They both had a taste for art so fixing me was the perfect job. Never did I resent them for picking out my flaws, they treated me too good.
It took some time to build my confidence back up, occasionally I would leak because I wasn’t used to being a full-time caregiver. But eventually I got used to Lola and Phill’s love that was foreign to me. The spray paint cans were replaced with wallpaper and the skunk smell was replaced by homemade cookies. Life was good for another seventeen years. Lots of family visited and I was always showered with compliments. Whenever my extended family came during the summer, my floors always ended up drenched in water, but I would do anything to go back to a time where that’s all I worried about. A lot of birthdays, celebrations, and events were held within my walls, every day was a new adventure. I took care of them until I couldn’t no more.
Lola stopped baking after a while and some lady started bringing machines in and wouldn’t leave us alone. Phill wasn’t himself either no more. He used to dance with Lola in the kitchen when she put on the radio to cook dinner. That dancing turned into sitting next to her bed side. I will never forget the day Lola left. Her grandchildren came to say goodbye, but I never got the chance. They said, “She’s in a better place now,” but I thought she made me for her. I thought I was the best place.
Soon after I lost Phill too. He began getting ill but he didn’t tell no one. He stopped leaving the house, so I looked over him, most of the time not sleeping. I thought I was doing a good job until he didn’t wake up one day. I thought Lola and Phill would stay with me forever, but then I became vacant for another two years. These two years were filled with cobwebs and lonely nights. I thought maybe being on a hill would make me closer to the stars I wished upon. I wished often for purpose, I wanted to be wanted again.
People visited me often within those two years. I hoped it would be Lola or Phill walking through my doors, but it was always someone who was eager to change me. They would always say words like knock down, rip out, and re-do, that made me nervous and insecure more than anything. The relator always offered guests solutions to their distaste in my vintage charm. He was a young man with a tacky suit, Lola would agree. His shoes squeaked and were scuffed up, I was not impressed. Not to mention how much I hated his voice. Without the furniture his voice echoed throughout me. He’s the one who had me questioning my worth. Was I unfit for a family? Is my warm embrace losing heat? That was until I met Phoebe and Bobbie.
Phoebe and Bobbie were young parents, if I remember correctly, they are twenty-eight. I learned their age while overhearing their conversation with the man who shows me off as he told them that he was shocked a couple so young was interested in a house with an outdated style. It was unusual for me to babysit but I was okay with it, their little one’s name was Clementine. Phoebe and Bobbie moved in 2000. They didn’t change one thing about me. They filled the void inside of me I thought could never be filled. They filled me with a bunch of things, but my favorite was the mini me, a small dollhouse that was Clementines. This dollhouse had a replica of every staple piece within my walls. The velvet, green sofa, the spiral staircase, and even the swings on the front porch. It was all there.
Over the years, I went through a lot. I experienced a lot of firsts. I got my first tattoo; Clementine gave it to me. It was with a red marker, I’m not sure what the tattoo was of, but I loved every second of it. Feeling wanted and needed in a loving way gave me a purpose. I got to be a part of all of the firsts, first art piece to be specific. I got more tattoos with every inch that Clementine grew. She grew a solid inch in only a few months. I watched Clementine turn four. The smell of Phoebe’s homemade cake reminded me of Lola, and I couldn’t help but get emotional. The smell of the sweet lemon batter topped with fresh lemons filled the air. But when my roof leaked because of my thoughts of Lola, they didn’t mind. They patched me up, just like Lola and Phill did. Bobbie was always building new things for my yard. My favorite thing he built was a swing that overlooked the water. It was my favorite because when they went out and played, I could watch both things I loved, my family and the water.
Sometimes my emotions got the best of me. I tend to worry all the time about them, especially when they are out of sight. I got good at hide-and-seek, but sometimes they’d be too good at hiding. One time I didn’t even see ‘em leave out the door. I started to think they were tricking me. I didn’t even notice Clementine’s yellow boots she wears everywhere were gone. They didn’t leave any lights on, so it was hard for me to see, so I gave up. I just waited and waited. No signs of them made me really freak out. My temperature dropped, I’m pretty sure. Finally, they arrived back with plenty of food. I couldn’t help but notice the sight of lemons, that’s how I knew they weren’t thinking of leaving, just thinking of baking. I panicked when they hid for too long, they always came back but it didn’t make them leaving any easier. My attachment issues often got the best of me, but I was pleasantly surprised when they returned every time.
One day they left and came back with a furry-looking beast. I learned it was called a dog, and it was a golden retriever named Lucy. Lucy made lots of messes and often soaked my floors with a smelly liquid. They cleaned up after Lucy though and I began to grow fond of her. I loved how happy Lucy made my family. I loved the giggles that would echo my walls and the barks that helped me wake up on time. Everything fell into place the next couple of years. I think they were happy- at least I was.
On February 14th, 2007 Phoebe gave the family the best and worst news ever. She was pregnant. She put a pregnancy test in a heart-shaped box and presented it to Bobbie just after Clementine was put to bed. Bobbie embraced Phoebe, but then the worst sentence left his lips and made my fears become reality. Bobbie said, “I think it’s time we move somewhere that canhold our growing family, don’t you think?” Phoebe hesitated and said she had been thinking about it too and looking on a site called “Zillow” for another home. I felt like I had been cheated on. My walls wanted to crumble.
A few weeks later something was put in my yard, and it wasn’t something Bobbie built. It was a cheap sign that read “for sale” in the same red my first tattoo was in. That wasn’t even the worst part, strangers kept walking my halls. I hoped they would see all the dog hair and wallpaper and easily be turned around, but they loved the view I had. There was this fat lady, I’m pretty sure she put indents in my floor, who constantly yapped and yapped about how much she needed this house. I don’t think my floors could have handled her. Her yapping and squeaking became annoying, within less than an hour, imagine a lifetime. Instead of calling me Charming they began calling me “Potential.” I wished that Lola and Phill were still here, I knew that they would never have done this to me. They never did. I’m sure if Lola and Phill could have taken me with them to the grave, they would have. And now I wished they did. Instead of calling Phoebe and Bobbie family I started calling them traitors.
As months went on Phoebe got fatter, I thought it was karma until I realized she’s growing another Clementine. I made sure that I was on my worst behavior, I wanted to rebel against them. I stopped trying and the house began to fall apart. I no longer held frames on the walls, and I began to leak even more often. When it started to get colder outside, they no longer got my warm embrace. In other words, I gave them the cold shoulder. I would drop the temperature in the house just like I used to do when I would panic when I thought they left. I would crack my windows and let the chilly winds inside. Despite my rebellion, they kept fixing me up. I became more upset because I thought that it was out of pity, that was until they reconsidered. The sun finally came out on May 6th, a day I will never forget. The hideous sign was gone. I didn’t know what this meant as a strange man with a yellow helmet came over thatsame day to look at the house. He started talking about parts of me that he was going to “add on to.” I thought this was sabotage and questioned Phoebe and Bobbie’s intentions, but then I learned that my family wasn’t leaving anymore. I witnessed Phoebe and Bobbie’s mutual warm embrace that was followed by tears and the words, “I couldn’t stomach leaving this house, it’s the only place that feels like home.”
Strangers came to work on me instead of coming to talk about what they didn’t like about me. I felt taken care of. The best part of it all was that it didn’t take long to make me bigger. Soon enough my heart grew bigger in ways I never knew it could grow, and the other voids were filled. Phoebe gave birth and brought me a precious baby names “Valentine.” I was in love with her and finally understood why we found out about her through a heart-shaped box. My walls were finally filled with more than just baked goods; they were filled with love. I got a new name too, “Home Sweet Home” is what they call me.
—Madison Yager
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