South Africa and Nothing Nothing Nothing

by Kiara Braum

It’s not 1994 

It’s 2003 just kidding it's 2023 and we’re alive just like that 

And we’re not transracial or activists and

Biko was right

I mean Fanon 

Actually its not my place to say, 

I’m just passing through 

It’s just my land, not my place 

It’s just my dream of another world 

It’s just somewhere to leave and imagine 

It’s just that

Anyway we’re alive like its 2023 because it is

And the room smells like vanilla tobacco because that’s what we smoke

I don’t smoke

I’m just passing through it 

And the girls are just so unbelievably beautiful and we all want to go to bed with them 

I would if there was a place to take her 

I would take her there 

Oh boy would i ever 

You say there is loneliness inside me that is better than the rain. That i am more than my charm and laughter 

I’m the dark hollow of nothing too 

Just like that 

I un unfocus my eyes because i want to get to the bottom of things 

Ana mendieta said above all a search for origin and i know 

I’m not from here 

I’m just passing through 

But when the waves come they’ll take the exact form of a shambok

And then it’ll be just like that 

The blood oranges 

we eat them for their name 

She reminds me of a vampire 

She has no reflection, except in our eyes 

And i don’t wonder if she loves me

You love me 

Even though we’re just passing through 

I need you to know that I’m paying attention like it’s going out of style 

Because it’s 2023 and it is

When there’s a last time baby 

You can’t help notice it in every time time too 

And there’s nothing like the first time you see the place you come from 

And it was there in you 

Like a mirror or a red orange sky 

I don’t know where Knysna is just that its’ capital is silent 

in ways that matter 

Knight 

Knife 

That’s right 

Might be alive in dreams of the past like Mandela wanted

The cries of the fenced off population 

Perineal polite hesitation 

It’s 2023 

Eina comes from the Khoi people ok 

I’m trying something called preemptive suffering 

It’s called preambled loneliness 

Prepackaged pineapple and cuts on your mouth 

Eina